This is how i die, alone and unafraid.

Wanting to let go, of things I’ve come to hate.

I have lived in pasts as someone held at bay

By someone else’s wants that have slowly paved ‘my’ way.

I shall not have fear as that ending meets my door

Or let the hopes of living break me from these words.

For I have seen futures, ones of empty space

So take me to my maker and move me with much haste.

As I see the darkness, a freezing blinding fate

My heart begins to wonder, why life harbors hate.

Is it so we know the rarity of love

Or perhaps cruel comedy, a satire from above.

Maybe ‘he’ seeks comfort, watching us in pain

Or maybe it’s just instinct carved into our veins.

Could it be just pleasure that we all find deep joy in

And burning from within us comes the tempting voice of sin.

Whatever may it be, I have felt it all

Seeing the hopes of my heart, massacred at the floor.

But out of bloody horrors comes a shinning light

And for this I find joy in the ending of my life.

I drank to feel better

For hope does not matter

And time seems to cut like a knife.

But the alcohol tore me

Burning, absorbing

Every last aspect of life.

`

I inhaled to know happy

For joy dismissed quickly

And salt seas soaked my young eyes.

But the ashes did scorn me

Steaming and burning

Every good brain cell of mine.

`

I snorted to see god

For my mind was in fog

And my faith had dried up within me.

But the fine white drew blood

A red, rushing flood.

Every aspiration now empty.

`

I cut to end breath

For my hope was absent

And my want to live was so faded

But I was come with fear

Face showered in tears

Every smile inside me outdated.

`

I wrote to forget

For my words can digress

And a pen never brings hopelessness.

But the stories I placed

On these pages with haste

Dead on arrival

Birthed with no hope

My eyes see a judgement

Made from a rope.

Perfect in size

Just for my throat

To crush my bold organ

And leave me afloat.

His heart sat heavy

Covered in flesh

Ribs all intact

Pressed tight to the chest.

Bold in opinion

And heart spaced for love

Much longing desire

For slow dripping blood.

Imagery imagined

Tatered in black

Stained in his mind

Ragged and cracked.

A past of no mentions

Futures of no change

Just books with torn pages

Ripped up in rage.

He makes his last not

Tied at the half

Chair to the floorboards

A back to the past

Feet at the ednge

Life’s made it’s last climb

Diving for ‘nothing’

Now suspended in ‘time’.

I burn myself in shower
Every chance I get
To feel alive for the moment
And melt down to my best.
I reach for the handle
Reddened with ‘H’
To open the faucet
To feel my heart race.
I bask in the pleasure
As steam now grows dense
And the hot water pummels
My face and my chest.
The heat begins burning
And I feel alive
I tear off the faucet
And rip open my eyes.
The water is pulling
My eyes from my face
And I open my mouth
With a hurrying haste.
Out melts my tongue
And it pours down the drain
Along with my eyes
I begin to know pain.
My skin is now thawing
As flesh falls from my back
And my chest is now bear
Only a rib cage intact.
But a grin does still plague
This pained scorched complexion.
For I’m only now bones
And finally a perfection.

Beaten and bruised, her heart feels so used.

Dripping with blood, her head hits the rug.

His arms crashing down, by his hands she does drown.

Lost in this night, this ‘loving’ last fight.

.

So cold and alone, he’s hammered and stoned.

She screams out to cry, his motions so timed.

She calls out to shout, his hands hold her mouth.

She’s thrown to the bed, anger runs through his head.

Tears stream down her face, her heart is erased.

This love is too much, but she’s longing for touch.

For her love is this pain, and her blood pours like rain.

.

It’s deep in the night, he lies fast asleep.

She sneaks out the door and into the streets.

Out to the car and under the seat.

There lies her freedom wrapped in a sheet.

Metal in texture and cold to the touch,

Her heart begins racing, her mind feels a rush.

Blast through the door and wake him from night.

End all the pain this is the last fight.

.

So pull the trigger and end all this pain.

Forgave and forgotten she’s lost and deranged.

She’s aiming for comfort and shooting for life.

Free and forsaken this is his last night.

Her bruises will heal and the broken flesh mend.

Hands splattered in blood, her heart beats again.

Watching ships sink brings joy to my eye.

A rip in the steal, water pours through in strides.

The crewmen in panic, flustered and scared.

They scratch for the surface, throats grasping for air.

The captain so speechless, lost in contemplation and thought.

His hands hold the wheel, grasped tightly and taut.

“This vessel is going!” screams a mate from within.

And now the sheer panic begins to set in.

The lifeboats are lowered as I watch from the shore.

The captain is stoic, dead eyed and unsure.

For fears have poured in like the sea to his ship.

And death is now nearing with every small drip.

He screams out for gods to end this damned hell.

For his feet are now soaked and his cold hands have swelled.

But cheer fills my chest to hear his last scream.

For his heart has now sunk along with his dream.

I see your memories, locked up in you

A stone cold heart, faded deep into blue

The deep, sad tears swell in your eyes

A heart solid cold, filled with goodbyes

Your eyes poor out but a deep sorrow and pain

My hands go numb, and I pull back again.

How I wish to hold you deep in my arms

To end all the pain and heal all the harm.

The threat of loss so present in time

The hours of self fly like winged arrows

What truth in the matter comes from myself

A heavy heart tied down by the ideals of faliure

If chance is the hand dealt to this worried life

Than it shall be played till blood runs still.

What hope the world sees in horizons

layered with stories of success and joy

But my dirt has been consumed by water

And water has leaked through into mud

And the mud has been layered in hard black coals

The truth of the future falls flat to the soot

And the truths of past scream loud to the earth

‘What time tells is nothing’

Only distance to forget my fears

Held over a fire the fear ignites

Shedding ashes of joy once useful to hope

They scream ‘it’s all worth every second’

And float far into the sky’s deep vast

But my joy is now burnt and fear does not flutter

For if fate has met it’s conclusion

Then fear has no need to doubt this burnt corpse

So I sit at this window

Frammed out of glass.

Your heart on my dashboard

Our love in the past.

I scribble your name

In hopes of recollection.

My hands burn in ice

My heart lost in motion.

Just bring back the heat

That poured from the sun

To warm the old heart

And fill these sick lungs.

You’re floating away

I’m holding on by a string.

Our love lost in space

And you start to grow wings.

So sing me one song

And inhale one breath.

Your wings burning now

As you fall to your death.

The waters fill lungs

Your last breath has passed